I'm a Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me (Beck)

Okay, so I'm not ready to die, but I am a loser. A loser of 25 lbs! For several months, if not years, I've been unhappy with my weight gain. Year after year, the needle on the scale kept creeping up toward the right, topping out close to 180 lbs.

Then, a few years back, I remember seeing Cameron Diaz in the first Charlie's Angels movie & thought to myself, "that's what I want to look like." I thought that was my rock bottom. I think it was around that time or soon after I joined a gym or two (let's see, there was Bally's, Pure Fitness & Curves, not to mention all the workout videos I collected that were collecting dust).

Then, in more recent months, my pants stopped fitting. I held onto a pair of size 8 khakis for some unknown reason. And, I held onto a few pairs of my size 10s that I really enjoyed wearing, when they fit. And, I don't know what the hell happened to my size 12s, but then I had a ton of 14s around. It really sucked to not be able to get my pants up around my thighs & buttoned without feeling that the seam in the butt was going to rip when I sat down or bent over. And, I thought this was my rock bottom.

Then, for my 30th birthday last December, Jess, the sweetheart that she is, threw a surprise dinner for me at a Mexican restaurant close to her house with our friends. I love hanging out with my friends & that surprise dinner was just about the coolest thing anyone has ever done for me (thanks, Jess!!), but then they came out with the sombrero & the guitars & the singing & the camera. And Jenn isn't a skinny minnie that she once was. And, now there's proof. And, this is my rock bottom. Though, it took a few months for me to do anything about it.

Frequently, my good friend Aimee from work & I would talk about our weight issues. My issue was & still is I like to eat. That, paired with not knowing when to stop eating if I'm not utterly & completely full is a recipe for a weight gain disaster. Every now and again, Aimee would dangle little tidbits about Weight Watchers in front of me (she had tried it, unsuccessfully, a few times before). Not enough to where I was ready to jump in with both feet, but enough to where I wanted to see what it had to offer me. I really didn't want to commit myself to spending more money on something that I was going to fail at (see gym comments above).

Then, something in my head clicked & there was no turning back. I'm the kind of person who gets an idea in her head & then goes gung ho. Aimee found where meetings were held near work & since they're only a half hour long & during our lunch breaks, there wasn't any reason we couldn't check it out.

On Cinco de Mayo, we went to our first meeting. We've been "competing" with each other for weight loss ever since, maintaining very close numbers (she's currently "beating" me by .6 lbs. You go girl!!). I've got about another 7 lbs to lose before I reach my goal. And, I've already replaced my fat pants; there's NO turning back now.

Today, I'm thankful for:
1. TiVo (though, the version we use at home is Comcast's version; same thing though)
2. My determination to finally stick with something to help me lose weight
3. Corn on the Cob
4. Noritake Java Graphite Swirl
5. Twitterpation